Affairs of the Guilty Heart
by VIKEMON
Summary: AU Drarry Fic where Harry finds what he's been (not) looking for and Draco finds his courage. Possible slash, lots of fluff. First fic in over a year! Nervous author.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Post-Hogwarts, AU (as in, ignore the last bit of book 7 – because Draco Malfoy is never having a receding hairline or a wife in any fic of mine!). This is my first fic in well over a year so I may be rusty and unable to accommodate the Drarry community now, but here goes anyway…

Harry fidgeted and adjusted his tie for the umpteenth time before anxiously looking at his watch. Hermione was seldom late and he was not in the habit of remaining calm when such an oddity occurred. Harry was a worrier; it was a trait developed by many Hogwarts students who had experienced first-hand the war against Lord Voldemort and his Death Eater Army, they were worriers – and Harry was more so than most. He was about to apparate to the house she shared with Ron when he heard the clacking of heels on the stone driveway behind him, turning to see an out-of-breath Hermione.

"Sorry" she breathed "I got an owl from Ron asking me to send some of his jumpers to Romania, I started worrying he hadn't taken any at all. I don't want him coming home with frostbite, he's awful at any warming spell and you _know_ he won't ask for help."

Harry began to walk and Hermione stepped in line with him, still slightly out of breath and red in the face.

"That's Ron all over, forgetful and stubborn as a mule" Harry's eyebrows furrowed as he examined his own attire compared to Hermione's, he looked up the driveway and back to his friend. "Do you think I'm underdressed?" he questioned, "I feel it now that you're here." He had only been able to root out his simple black dress robes for the occasion whereas Hermione was wearing a striking midnight blue gown, and high heels, and even a dash of makeup.

"You look fine, Harry. To be honest I hate these networking events. Ron never comes with me so I usually find an excuse to stay at home, but tonight the partners of the firm are attending and I think it wise to look involved and interested. Plus it gets you and I out of the house, and maybe there'll be some nice music."

The pair were only halfway down an extravagant entrance to a sprawling manor with temple-like pillars and stone hippogriff effigies lining the front. Harry was starting to worry that he would not meet the standards required by Hermione's high-flying law colleagues. Upon asking who the owner of the manor was, he became aware that even Hermione did not know whose party she was attending.

Harry soon settled into the ebb and flow of the party, grand as the setting was, Hermione's colleagues were pleasant and seemingly as humble as Hermione. He was happily listening to the back-and-forth chatter between Hermione and her closest work buddies, one being Quinn, the lawyer that was currently assisting on a mass-house elf rights case against Durmstrang Institute. He made an off-hand joke about the shocking state of Wizarding school loyalty before turning his attention to Harry.

"Speaking of which I hear you had an adorably rough-and-tumble Slytherin-Gryffindor relationship with tonight's host." He laughed and raised his eyebrows at Hermione, whose face paled instantly.

"Harry I'm so sorry, I really didn't know" Hermione looked mortified as her eyes scanned the ballroom.

"What are you talking about?" Harry was snapped out of his half-trance and was starting to panic that he'd missed something important.

"Draco Malfoy, I've heard all about your Hogwarts antics" Quinn nodded to the other side of the room, apparently unaware of the awkward situation at hand.

There was no doubt in Harry or Hermione's mind that it was definitely Malfoy, he was taller than most and stood out a mile away, with his platinum hair perfectly coiffed and his tinkling false laughter. He was stood with his arm around the waist of a petite blonde lady in a very Slytherin-green, fitted silk dress and very over-the-top diamante jewellery; talking to an elderly gentlemen leaning on an ornate cane.

"You work with Malfoy?" Harry spun to ask Hermione.

"No!" She replied, still mortified. "I don't really understand what's going on here, all I know is that he is talking to my boss, the man _I_ came here to see." Hermione looked on the verge of tears as she frustratedly peered to watch Malfoy.

"Draco is hosting our lovely evening tonight to impress; he's dating Mr Arey's precious daughter, Fauna" Quinn nodded in turn to the green-clad woman "although if you ask me it's more like he's buying the damn daughter, the woman costs him a fortune."

Hermione and Harry were desperately trying their best not to stare at the couple or draw attention to themselves as they turned their backs on their old Slytherin rival. Hogwarts was eleven years in their past but they still disliked the mere idea of him. Although the Malfoys had generally shown nothing but cowardice in the final battle against Voldemort, Draco had still been insufferably rude to the Gryffindor trio during their entire time at Hogwarts.

"You know Draco Malfoy?" Hermione asked Quinn quietly, "I never knew that."

"Oh yeah, I've had a couple of cases that have required his signature on the M.o.M documentation. We get on pretty well. I see him outside of work, sometimes." Quinn was, rather boldly, staring intently at Malfoy. "I actually better go say hi, I've been pretty ignorant so far. Can I get either of you a drink while I'm over there?" the two friends both asked for something strong, knowing they would need it to get through the night.

Harry and Hermione had barely calmed down when they were joined by none other than the green-dressed Fauna Arey.

"Harry Potter" her voiced seemed to purr as she held out her hand for Harry to kiss, which he did dutifully, but all too aware that her current boyfriend could come storming over any second. Thankfully this did not occur.

Fauna introduced herself in a sickeningly honeyed voice and ignorantly butted Hermione out of the conversation whilst firing all manner of questions at Harry. It was clear she was only interested in members of the opposite sex, and only famous or powerful ones at that. She was completely insensitive about the war-based questions, people usually avoided the subject but Fauna Arey wanted to know every minor detail. This made Harry feel incredibly uncomfortable. His eyes uncontrollably started flickering across the room to where Quinn had leaned in to talk in Malfoy's ear, who let out a short but genuine laugh before straightening Quinn's dress-robe lapel and grabbing them both a drink. He looked up and caught the bold green eyes staring at him; but almost instantly looked away again. He had the usual Slytherin custom of covering up all emotion, so there was no sure way of gaging his true reaction to Harry's presence. There was something strange about Malfoy's mannerisms, although Harry could not put his finger on it. Fauna was filling his ears with a dreadful amount of nonsense and he needed to get some fresh air and find Hermione. By the time he was making his way across the room, the corner that Malfoy had been in was empty.

Hermione was nowhere to be found, so Harry settled down on a stone bench in the cool breeze, nursing a firewhisky and enjoying the solitary moment away from the overbearing Fauna. He could not comprehend how even a Malfoy could abide such a foul, pretentious, and selfish narcissist. The woman was, for all intents and purposes, beastly. Entirely akin to Draco Malfoy's old girlfriend, Pansy Parkinson, although a lot more aesthetically pleasing.

Harry tried his best to forget about the ghastly femme fatale. The night was cool enough for him to watch his breath rise and disappear into the night, the stars were sparse but bright and there were fairies lighting up the shrubbery around him, Harry was always fond of these colourful little creatures. He enjoyed a moment's peace and hoped that Hermione had found someone pleasant to talk to, hopefully Mr Arey, whom Harry was certain would have more charisma than his own daughter.

The wind was not too heavy but there was a rustling in the bushes to his right. He craned his neck but could not see the source of the noise. He leaned in close and tried to listen more.

"Hermione?" he whispered, "is that you? Are you hiding? It's Harry. I'm hiding" he turned his right ear to the bush and strained to hear, but felt silly.

With a sigh he pulled himself up and walked around the preened bushes until he found a gap, he craned his neck around them to see if he could spot Hermione without being noticed himself but quickly stumbled back around the corner and held his breathe. Draco Malfoy was embraced, rather passionately, with someone who was certainly not Fauna. Someone who was certainly not even female. The rough hands of Quinn were cupping the back of Draco's head and neck; and the long pale fingers of Draco Malfoy were tangled in Quinn's dark brown hair. One of the men left out a soft appreciative moan, Harry couldn't tell which, his head was swimming. He stumbled back to his stone bench and sat for a long while. Draco walked right past him and re-entered the party, followed a few minutes later by Quinn. Neither seemed to even notice Harry in the dark, head in his hands. It was quite some time later that he was eventually noticed, by the prior absentee Hermione.

"Harry, are you okay? You look awful." Hermione wore an incredibly worried expression, Harry felt silly that he must look so dishevelled after witnessing a _kiss. _It was just a kiss after all. And yet Harry had never seen two men kissing, so it did shock him a little, along with the fact that Malfoy was being incredibly un-loyal with his girlfriend so close by– this shocked Harry less, it was a common Slytherin trait, and Fauna was despicable at best.

"Harry?" Hermione was tapping him repeatedly on the shoulder.

"I'm fine, the firewhisky is just really strong I think it went straight to my head, I've gone really drowsy" Harry had no idea why he was lying, he knew he felt a bit guilty but he did not know whether it was because he was keeping his knowledge from Hermione, or from Fauna, or the fact that he was not alerting Quinn or Malfoy to the fact he had seen them. He suspected the latter. Harry never could cope well with secrets. Just a few weeks previous Ron had told him he planned on asking Hermione to marry him, Harry was already having a hard time dealing with being near Hermione while she still did not know.

"Yes, well, it might be a good idea we go soon. I don't like the idea that we're in Malfoy's home and Mr Arey is really not in a good mood – we were getting on great and then his daughter started throwing an awful fit about something, it's ghastly. I think we should make our excuses and leave before this whole event turns sour" Hermione was now pulling Harry to his feet and dragging him by the wrist.

Harry had an awful feeling that Ms Arey had found out about her lover's secret…if she had, she was not showing it. She was stood once more by Draco Malfoy's side, clinging to his arm. He had a look of disinterest plastered on his face, Harry was surprised he would even tolerate the woman since he so obviously didn't like her, especially since he didn't even like _women_. Hermione was making a beeline for where they were stood and Harry's stomach was bubbling over with guilt. He felt sick.

"Draco" Hermione addressed the tall blonde very cordially, he turned to look at her with a raised eyebrow, "it was a lovely party, really, I'm very grateful for your generosity tonight and wish I could stay but Harry isn't very well I think I'd best see him home. Your firewhisky was more potent than he expected." Harry almost died upon the spot hearing this, his guilt turned to pure embarrassment.

"Thank you, Hermione, you're too kind…" Draco was interrupted by Quinn cutting into the conversation, the brunette put his hand on Draco's shoulder and leaned in to speak to him.

"Can I borrow you for a minute, it's quite urgent."

Harry's already rosy cheeks went bright red, there was a slightly playful undertone to Quinn's voice and the way his hand was placed on Draco's shoulder was obviously incredibly tender. To everybody else in the circle it was innocent, but knowing what Harry knew, it was the most sensually charged moment he had ever witnessed between two people. It gave him butterflies just watching it. He started coughing, for lack of anything else to do, as he witnessed Draco turn to face Quinn and reply.

"I'll be with you shortly, I'm just seeing Hermione and Mr Potter out."

"Oh there's no need for that, we'll find our own way out, and thank you again" Hermione started dragging the indignant Harry along once more.

Both Gryffindors were happy to be outside in the cool breeze once more, it was only once he had calmed down that Harry found the time to be offended by Malfoy's discriminatory coolness towards him, "How come you're Hermione but I'm Mr Potter?!"

"I at least addressed him once in the entirety of our short stay, you didn't even look at him once, if you think he's being so rude you should look in the mirror, Mr Potter." She reprimanded him

"I did look, we made brief eye contact actually. He just ignored me."

"Have you ever considered that he's mortified that you saved his life?" Hermione quizzed, referring to the blaze that Harry had rescued Malfoy from in the Room of Requirement.

Harry grunted a reply, he couldn't get the image of Draco and Quinn out of his head, it was seriously affecting his ability to speak – he was afraid he'd blurt something out and get himself in trouble. He also couldn't get the thought out of his head that they would be together, in some secret corner, right now.

"What do you think erm –Fauna- sees in Malfoy?" Harry asked Hermione as they walked casually down the great driveway. What he really meant was what _Quinn_ saw in him, Fauna obviously saw lots of money.

"Oh I don't know, you know, he's his own form of charming, I suppose. He has that lovely hair, he's tall, handsome and intelligent. And he can dance."

"He can dance?" Harry was perplexed, but also felt instantly embarrassed that it was this aspect he had chosen to question, and not the fact that Malfoy was handsome or intelligent, or _charming_. It was not a word he would use to describe Malfoy, but maybe he had been ignorant of the changes his old rival had gone through.

"Oh yes I saw him dance with her just before coming to find you, he was very graceful. She's very lucky, Ron has two left feet. Then again, I think it runs in his family because so does Ginny" Hermione laughed before looking pained in Harry's direction, "sorry…the G word."

"It's fine, don't worry about it" Harry said plainly. He and Ginny had split up, well, she had left him for her old flame, Dean Thomas. Harry was never 'interested' enough in her, she was constantly complaining that she had to compete for his time. He washed thoughts of her away, he was still stuck on his Malfoy conundrum. He had to tell someone. He couldn't tell Malfoy, and he obviously wanted it all hidden away since he had a very public girlfriend. He couldn't tell Hermione, that would just make the situation worse, Harry would look a gossip. There was only Quinn left to tell. He would go to Hermione's work one day and see if he could find Quinn. Quinn would definitely be more understanding about the whole thing.

Harry was as restless as the sea in Hermione's spare bed, he had no idea why but the Quinn/Malfoy debacle was playing on his mind. He could not figure out how he felt about it. As shocked as he was, the more he thought about it, the more Quinn suited Malfoy. They looked good together. Quinn was only slightly shorter than Draco and they were both slim in build although Quinn was more tanned and had thicker, brown hair and brown eyes like a doe, and was broader round the shoulders than Draco. Something bothered Harry now about the image of Draco with Fauna, they just did not fit. Mere hours earlier she had looked like the perfect company for the Slytherin Prince but now she looked insubstantial next to him. Harry wondered where the moan had come from, Draco or Quinn? It sounded like neither man, it was an exquisitely raw sound, as if it was unable to be repressed in any way. Harry found it difficult to imagine himself in a position of such rapture, a position where noises came and went of their own accord, even when you could run the risk of blowing open a huge secret.

Harry could not decide whether he felt sorry for Malfoy, in his mind's eye he could see the blonde lay in bed with Ms Arey, perhaps even having to make love to her, feeling incomplete or at least dissatisfied. Harry knew how that felt. He never wanted Ginny in the way she wanted him to, he never leapt on her and most nights he turned off the lamp and rolled over straight after getting in bed. Harry had never experienced _want _of the like he had seen in Quinn's eyes just before he left the party. It often made him feel odd, even inhuman, that he didn't have the same urges he heard his male friends talk about.

There was a knot in Harry's stomach just thinking about the way the two men had interacted in front of everyone else, the passionate undertone was so obvious to someone who knew the nature of their relationship. It gave him an uneasy feeling that was not quite guilt but not quite excitement, but knowing their secret and intruding so boldly upon their hidden life made Harry feel uncomfortable. He simply had to tell Quinn what he knew. He would do it first thing Monday. A whole day lay between now and then, it was going to be an awkward Sunday spent with Hermione without being able to tell her.

A/N: I know it's slow but we need to set the scene here guys! Let me know what you think! Can you guys guess where this is going?


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Trying to write this as fast as possible to get to the lovely Drarry bit, the bit we all like *squee* but I feel like this fic is going to take a while to get there…sorry guys.

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><p>Harry left work early, it did not matter too much these days, he only really had a consultancy role in the auror office, the ministry had really not wanted to even take Harry on, had wanted him to spend a few years getting over the ordeal that had been his wizarding life thus far; so he could take days off as he pleased really. Walking from his work to Hermione's a few streets away gave him time to perfect his plan, he would go and see Hermione first then use the excuse of being there to pop into Quinn's office.<p>

He checked his appearance in the toilet mirror before heading to see Hermione, something he had never done before – he had not once before felt the compelling need to try and flatten his hair and preen his eyebrows, or straighten his shirt and collar. Harry realised with a shock that he was actually doing this for Quinn, knowing that Quinn liked men made Harry aware of how he looked. Harry felt slightly bigoted when he realised this, there was nothing to suggest Quinn was interested in Harry, especially not just because of his 'male' status. And anyway, Quinn like slender, pale, blonde boys with silver eyes and a tendency for nonchalance and snobbery. Almost exactly opposite to Harry. He sighed at his own stupidity and went to find Hermione in her office.

Hermione wasn't in her office when he arrived, even better for Harry as he could pretend he wanted to ask Quinn where she was. _Unless she was with him. _He decided to go with the flow, he would adapt to whatever this situation threw at him. He blew air out harshly before taking another deep breath and walking down the long corridor, finding Quinn's office at the end. There was a commotion occurring inside, as if Quinn was throwing his office furniture around trying to find some missing item. Harry knocked but got no reply, he tried the handle and the door swung open to reveal Quinn, not throwing furniture around. Harry's hand shot to cover his mouth as he gasped and his eyes widened at the sight before him.

Draco was sprawled on Quinn's large mahogany desk, papers strewn around his half-nude body. His shirt was torn open and his trousers were unbuttoned. It was quite a relief to Harry that he wasn't arriving at the scene any later, as Quinn was merely bent over; paying Draco's torso some fervent attention with his lips. The dark haired man leapt back from the desk, "Harry?!" he exclaimed, as if he had to check he was not seeing things.

Harry panicked and froze for a few seconds before walking out of the room and shutting the door behind him with a loud clang. He could hear muffled cursing happening behind it, especially accusations appertaining to who had forgotten to _lock_ said door. Harry was mortified, and almost certain he was cursed to live out the rest of his days walking in on Draco and Quinn in progressively more intimate situations.

The door opened sharply and caught Harry on the arm, sending a shooting pain through to his shoulder. No apology came, just an icy glare from Draco before he stalked down the corridor indignantly. Quinn was flustered and red, stood in the doorway, he grimaced at Harry before speaking. "You'd better come in, I suppose."

Harry sat down as Quinn quickly waved his wand around clearing the mess he had just made in his apparent _frenzy_. He slumped opposite Harry and rubbed his temples.

"I should explain…" he winced and pulled a bottle of firewhisky out of his top drawer.

"You don't have to explain anything to me, I am so sorry Quinn, I really am, I did knock but I shouldn't have just opened the door like that" Harry decided not to mention he had already witnessed the relationship once, he thought it may make things worse.

"I do, I really do because you have seen Draco with Fauna and Hermione's undoubtedly mentioned David to you and-"

"David?" Harry quizzed

"David, yes, the minister for magical creature welfare…my _boyfriend_ Harry" Quinn became more heated the more he talked.

"No, she hadn't mentioned, I see. So you and Draco…are having…"

"An affair, yes. I know it's not right, he knows it's not right, although I have to say his morals are more dubious than mine." Quinn raised both eyebrows at Harry and continued "he feels he can't make his, let's say _preferences_, public. Because of his job and his status as a pureblood heir, and so on. And quite frankly I'm just unhappy, well I'm not, but me and David have been together so long and Draco's so ridiculously attractive that I couldn't help myself. That is not an excuse, I know it's not, but Harry I am utterly and completely infatuated and I can't stop myself." Quinn breathed hard, as if he had been wanting to get it all out for months. "This isn't coming out right at all, is it?"

"I understand, I'm not judging you, _either _of you." Harry took a glass of firewhisky from the brunette in front of him and took a sip, "if you're so unhappy, why don't you leave David?"

"Because this is how I'm happy, I love my relationship, it's great. But I miss the chemistry of fooling around with someone, I miss the passion. And David works away so often. It just…works. I get the chemistry and Draco gets to keep his public girlfriend, because he isn't tied into a relationship with me"

Harry nodded, although he never imagined himself as someone who would agree to this sort of thing, he could understand what Quinn was saying. If it worked, it worked. He didn't want to ask but the question came flying out of his mouth as to whether David knew, Quinn paled and looked sickly. "You don't have to answer that" Harry sighed, "I'm so sorry for intruding on your life like this, you have my discretion, I will keep this to myself."

"Good," Quinn ran his fingers through his tousled hair, "I'm so glad you said that because I think Draco would be after you with a memory charm if you said anything."

Harry nodded silently before asking the question that had been burning in his mind, "how does Draco put up with Fauna if he doesn't really love her?" the word _Draco _seemed odd coming from Harry's mouth but it felt even more odd calling him Malfoy considering Quinn's feelings towards him.

Quinn snorted, "honestly, with great difficulty. He generally tries to avoid her, after the party the other night he told her he had some urgent business and came home with me. When he does have to…_put up_ with her, as you say…he is in the foulest mood for days. But he knows it's convenient, she can be bought and he has a lot of money. He doesn't need money. He needs to be loved on a regular basis, and by the right person, or – at least – by the right gender." He shrugged and raised his eyebrows at Harry.

"Understandable." Harry nodded and drained his glass, "I should probably leave you to it, I expect you're a busy man and I was just looking for Hermione anyway so, if you know where she is I'll get going?"

"She's not in today, she's in court." Quinn was sorting through a pile of documents with still red cheeks and messy hair, Harry almost giggled at his attempt to remain poised. Harry was surprised that it was Quinn throwing Draco around like a ragdoll, Quinn was almost puppy-like in nature and Draco was so cool and collected he seemed to be the sort to exert his power more.

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><p>When Harry stepped outside the offices he was whipped across the face by a gale that had started to blow during his visit to Quinn. He turned up the collar on his winter coat and struggled against the wind, eyes squinted. As he made is way down the road he saw a familiar face, Draco sat outside a small café with a coffee in front of him. The liquid was flying out of the cup and away with a gust of wind, but the blonde did not seem to bother. His hair was blowing across his face and into his eyes yet he made no attempt to move it. Harry also noticed that Draco was only sat out in his shirt, tie and a silvery scarf. He had obviously forgotten to pick up his coat from Quinn's office when he left. Harry recalled a sleek black tailored jacket hanging over the chair he was sat on.<p>

Draco was paler than usual and there was a softness in his eyes that Harry had never seen before. It was quite startling for him to see someone he had once considered an enemy looking so vulnerable.

It seemed to Harry that the right thing to do would be to apologise to Draco in the same manner he did to Quinn, he had walked in on both of them after all, and Draco was much more exposed than Quinn. Harry had literally blown open a door on his sexuality and his secret relationship. He took a seat opposite the blonde and fought to keep the wind out of his eyes.

"Are you not cold?" Harry seemed to struggle getting his words out over the roaring of the blustery weather. Draco shook his head softly and put his hands around his coffee cup to stop the porcelain rattling in the wind. Harry wanted to ask if Draco would like to go somewhere private, but when he glanced around it appeared that nobody else was braving the storm, he took his chance as he saw it "Malfoy, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have opened the door so abruptly and I promise you I won't tell anyone."

"You'll still know" Draco's eyes were downcast and Harry struggled to hear what he had muttered, he couldn't think of anything to say in return, he let a sigh out and itched the back of his head. "You must think I'm pathetic." Draco avoided all eye contact with Harry and his cheeks turned a pale pink that took Harry by surprise.

"I don't think there's anything to be embarrassed about, you know, liking men and all. Love is love isn't it?" Harry blurted out, he was clumsy with words at times like these but he hated the silence that seemed to envelope the two men.

Draco scoffed and his eyebrows furrowed, "I'm not ashamed or embarrassed about liking _men, _Potter." His tone was harsh and venomous, "but now you're all too aware of how I'm too afraid to come out and say it in public. And now it's a secret I have to trust you to keep. Once again, Potter, you're saving my skin." He seemed to spit the last part out with utter resentment.

It was Harry's turn to be embarrassed, of course Draco was comfortable with his sexuality, it was the public attention it would receive that put him off. He twiddled his thumbs and exhaled, he had no idea how to go about this, words were failing him and Draco was starting to get up from his seat. Harry panicked and stood up with him.

"Malfoy – Draco!" He got his attention before waffling on, "I understand how you feel, I understand you feel vulnerable but you _can _trust me. I don't think I'm saving your skin, I think I'm an idiot for being so intrusive on your life. I feel like an absolute fool. But if it makes you feel better, I have secrets that I'd rather people didn't know-"

"Potter, I don't care about your secrets." Draco was walking away.

"My girlfriend left me for a friend because I wouldn't – because I COULDN'T - have sex with her." Harry blurted out, feeling instant relief that Draco knew something about him that nobody else knew, that they were somewhat even. "Not even Ron or Hermione know that."

Draco was looking at Harry with pity in his eyes, "you didn't want her, you know, the way you should?" Harry shook his head and looked down at his feet with a sigh. Draco took a step closer to him, "it's horrible, isn't it? Having someone with you, wanting you, and you just can't feel the same no matter how hard you try." He put an ice cold hand on Harry's shoulder, "I hope you find someone you want Potter." Harry's emerald eye's found nothing but sincerity in Draco's own eyes, and voice, and touch. It was the most concern Harry had ever felt from another person, there were people who cared for him but nobody had ever understood his life, the predicaments he was in. This was something that obviously spoke to Draco, enough to drain the venom from his voice, enough for him to open up to Harry slightly. He brushed the sappiness out of his head.

"You must be freezing by now." He stated with a small smile

"I'm not going to lie to you Potter, I can't feel my arms and my wand is in my coat pocket." He gave a small but reserved smile in return.

Harry chuckled and took his own wand out, casting a warming spell on Draco's upper body.

"Thank you" Draco said, he looked around before turning back to Harry "I should get going, I've been away from my desk for quite a while." He gestured an award half-wave to Harry before turning and walking away, hands in pockets.

Harry remained on the spot for some time after the back of the blonde head disappeared, the wind was still deafening and fierce but he felt rooted to the ground. An uneasy feeling resided within him that he could not quite explain. In a way he wished Draco had not left so suddenly, he had felt relieved after making his revelation and was quite content in the company of the ex-Slytherin.

He also realised he had no idea when he would next see Draco, if ever. This concept practically winded Harry. They had just this second established a platform whereby they could talk like normal people, even with Draco's instance on calling him 'Potter', the word was not as poisonous when it left his lips now. Harry did not like having enemies and after saving Draco's life he felt he wanted to sit down with the boy, let bygones be bygones and laugh off their old rivalry, the chance never produced itself so he had continued his awkward silence on the matter.

The young raven-haired man was getting fed up of keeping awkward silences, the way he had with Ginny, Ron and to some extent Hermione. He decided to be open and honest as often as possible. With other people _and_ himself. As much as he felt discomfited to admit it, it would be nice to be Draco's friend. Then Draco may not feel so embarrassed that Harry knew his secret. He vowed that if he saw Draco again, they would go for coffee _properly_.

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><p>Harry felt sure he would sleep well after the dramatic day he had, especially with how cold he was outside and how warm and comfy his own bed felt when he slid in. Something stopped him from drifting off, something was playing on his mind that he was trying to repress.<p>

"_I hope you find someone you want Potter."_

Draco's voice came back to haunt him and hot tears stung the corners of his eyes. Once more Harry felt inhuman, abnormal and the realisation hit him that he did not just feel guilty for being so involved in Draco's secret life, he was guilty of enjoying being part of the odd love triangle. It gave him a window he could peer into where he could experience a private type of want, of need, that he would possibly never experience himself. He was almost _jealous_ of Quinn and Draco. Of how they felt the need to feel each other's bodies.

He recalled the months of his life spent wasted, arguing with Ginny, excusing himself from his _duty _as a boyfriend by saying he was tired, by saying he didn't feel well and even one shameful time he said his scar hurt, just to shut her up and end the conversation. It was a lie. Harry hated living that lie. The lie similar to the one Draco was living. This made the tears run faster, he felt sorry for Draco, he wish he had said something as sincere and caring in return, something about courage and happiness being worth more than a public perception. Now Harry felt he had to see Draco again. To tell him to not put up with living a lie. Yet he frustratingly had no excuse to ever see Draco again.

It was the early hours of the morning by the time Harry dozed off, his brain flicked from the memory of Draco on Quinn's desk, to the pink hue of embarrassment in his cheeks, to the sincerity in his eyes and the hand he placed on Harry's shoulder…

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><p>AN: I hope that was a bit more fluffly and acceptable? I'm unfortunately guilty of taking ages before the Drarryness comes out. Bear with me pretty please with a Slytherin on top.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: YAY, two favourites on this story and a follower, this makes me so happy guys! So this is for you realworldiscruel, LazyBrat and Dora Malena :] I hope you enjoy this chapter, I know the start of this fic is a little fluffy/angsty(ish) and a bit slow. If you want a bit more Drarry action I wrote a one-shot the other night called Red Light, Green Light :D

If you like this fic, or any of my others, please feel free to check out my tumblr (vikemonster is the name); I think it's a great place for fanfic authors to interact with their readers and post artwork etc, if this fic gets as many followers as Love to Hate You got (I would really love that) I think it'd come in handy! I also literally just posted some hilarious old Drarry art of mine, it's worth a cringe or two.

It may seem a bit weird, but there's lyrics at the start of this chapter and maybe every chapter after – music really influences what I write so I decided to introduce the songs into this fic.

"_You'll never be far, I'm keeping you near_

_Inside of my heart, you're here_

_Go on, it's gotta be time_

_You're starting to shine_

_'Cause what you got is Gold _

_I know, you're gold."_

Owl City – Gold

In the cold light of day Harry felt silly for obsessing so much over Draco Malfoy's personal problems, his cheeks flushed red and he groaned into his pillow as he recalled his tears. He was thankful that nobody would ever find out about his pitiful breakdown.

Consequently, he saw Draco again much quicker than he had anticipated. He was waiting to meet Hermione at the coffee shop near her work when he saw the blonde walking towards him, head down in the light wind, coat billowing behind him – he must have picked it up from Quinn's office. And maybe even finished what they started before Harry interrupted. Harry willed his cheeks not to fire up at this thought, he had no idea if Draco had seen him or not. Alas, he had not, he ducked into the coffee shop seemingly unaware of Harry's presence. Harry checked his watch, he was early for once and Hermione was due in twenty minutes, probably more like ten since she was usually punctual herself. She had news of Ron's trip and the letter she had received had a note for Harry – a note Hermione could not read, it was written with the quill Harry had bought for Ron one Christmas, it allowed them to write notes to each other that nobody else could read. It drove Hermione mad, although what they wrote was never sinister in any way.

"Hello."

Harry's train of thought was interrupted and he looked up into the starlight eyes of Draco Malfoy.

"Oh, er, Hi" Harry was desperately trying not to think about his promise to himself; terrified his awkward attitude would show. "I see you've got your coat" he filled the silence with all the words he could think of.

"Yes." Draco proclaimed, a slight tinge arriving on his sculpted cheekbones. It still took Harry aback that Malfoy was capable of being anything but deathly pale, the idea that he could blush seemed ridiculous. However, so did the idea that he could live a lie with a vile woman he didn't love; so maybe Malfoy was full of all kinds of surprises. The blonde coughed uncomfortably, "thank you for the other day, you didn't have to apologise to me and I am grateful for your discretion."

"It's no problem Malfoy, I guess I should be just as thankful that you let me apologise, and for understanding my – uh – dilemma I guess." Harry's heart was going ten to the dozen as he realised how hard it is to keep eye contact with Draco Malfoy, his eyes were piercing and intense as if he could look into Harry's mind and soul and see everything. It felt odd to be gazing at Draco in the first place, holding his coffee and talking to Harry as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"It's Draco."

"What?" Harry looked around, not many other people were in the vicinity and he doubted anybody there was called Draco.

"My name, it's Draco" the blonde held his free hand out towards Harry.

The black haired man made a series of incomprehensible sounds before taking Draco's hand and shaking it firmly. He noticed how much warmer the hand was now, and how soft and slender it felt in his closed palm. Draco really was his complete opposite.

"And I guess I'm, Harry, you know." He finally replied.

"I know" Draco smiled wryly before looking down, obviously not wanting to mock Harry's awkward behaviour. "I'll see you around, Harry."

"Bye, Draco" Harry smiled. He looked over his shoulder as the platinum hair disappeared down the road, to his surprise Draco paused halfway down, bent down and fussed over a cat sniffing around the pavement – scratching it behind the ears and under the chin before continuing his commute to wherever. He chuckled to himself at the sight but was interrupted by Hermione's arrival, she asked him what he was laughing at – receiving only the reply "just some cat."

Harry read over Ron's letter over his second cup of coffee, with Hermione staring intently at him. Ron was telling him that he'd found the perfect engagement ring for Hermione in Romania, he was asking Harry for tips on where to propose, he wanted somewhere special and romantic. That was something Harry would really have to think about. He enjoyed Hermione's questioning looks for a few minutes before completely changing the subject.

"How's Quinn?" he took a sip of coffee and watched the girl's internal anger rise and fall.

"Fine." She eventually replied, "He's a little excitable at the moment, his boyfriend, David, is coming back from working away, next week." A knot formed in Harry's stomach, he wondered if Draco had heard this news yet. "He actually asked me about you when I got back from court on Monday, you two get on well for people who have only just met." She pondered this for a minute.

"Oh? Yeah he's a nice bloke, does Ron get on with him?" Harry would do anything in his power to stop Hermione questioning him about this closeness with Quinn.

"They're civil enough" came the despondent reply.

Harry walked Hermione to work and decided to take a wander around Diagon Alley, picking up some early Christmas presents. A new snitch for Ron's home Quidditch set was purchased, handy since last time he and Harry had played the snitch had gone AWOL. Enchanted needles for both Hermione and Mrs Weasley and a pretty quill for Ginny. He made his way to Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, hoping to see George around.

"Pretty sure you're stalking me, Potter" a drawl came behind him, Harry spun round to see Draco raising an eyebrow at him, smirking. The blonde started laughing at Harry's puddled expression "Merlin's beard Harry, I'm joking. Where are you going?"

Harry laughed at himself and pointed to the Weasley shop, Draco pulled a face.

"Yeah, I can't say I've ever really been in there. Don't feel I'd be too welcome, I was going to ask if you fancied lunch in the Leaky but you're busy."

"I can reschedule, I was only popping in there. I'm actually pretty hungry." Harry wondered if he was being too enthusiastic. Still he followed Draco into the wizarding pub, the two received some funny looks when they sat down together and ordered butterbeers.

"Been shopping?" Draco asked

"Early Christmas shopping" Harry shrugged, "what have you been up to?"

Draco pulled another face, "you're appallingly organised. I've just been in Twilfitt and Tatting's ordering some new robes, work shirts, gloves, nothing interesting really." He seemed a little distant, "I've also just been talking to Quinn, I told him we should probably break it off."

"Why?" the Gryffindor asked, "I thought everything was working out for you?" he mentally slapped himself for this comment, Draco had no idea what Quinn had told Harry about the dynamics of their relationship.

"David is coming back and we're not exactly careful, I mean, you copped an eyeful the other day. That's not me blaming you by the way, not at all. It's just I think he should think about his relationship, he has a lot going for him and I don't want to be the one to ruin it." He paused to think for a second, "Actually, talking about this, I wonder if you would do me a favour?"

Harry nodded for Draco to go on, gazing over the menu while he listened.

"Quinn is coming over tonight to discuss what I said to him, and I wondered if you would come too? I need to be able to talk to him without him having the opportunity to, er, distract me" Draco coughed. "and you're the only person that knows, I know it's a lot to ask."

"That's understandable, sure, depending what time we leave here I can just apparate with you to the manor." He smiled

"What?" Draco's brows furrowed, "Oh, the manor, I don't live there on my own Harry, I use it for events and such but I have an apartment just uptown from here that I live in."

"Oh." Harry felt silly, "then we can go there. Actually, that's reminded _me, _you could do me a favour, you know, if you wanted to?" the blonde obliged.

"I need a romantic setting, it's for Ron, he wants to propose to Hermione. Your garden at the manor seems like a good place, if you would let him use it and help me set it up."

The two men agreed to help each other out and ordered their food, they spent a good deal of time laughing at their past disputes, discussing Quidditch and even some odd articles Harry had read in the Quibbler. He received a copy of it every month in the post and read it when he was bored sometimes.

Harry followed Draco to his apartment, it was something Harry would call 'swanky'. It was minimalist with clean cut black and white furniture and a large window, almost floor-to-ceiling. Harry had a good view of London from it, he pondered what a Malfoy would want in a flat that overlooks so many muggle lives. Still it seemed to fit with Malfoy, it was crisp and fresh and yet had a touch of elegance to it. The city lights started to twinkle as the sky darkened.

Draco seemed nervous, he padded around while Harry sat and waiting patiently. He had never seen the blonde so anxious and it made a bubble of fear rise up in his own stomach.

"Calm down," he said at last, "you're being genuinely great, and selfless, I think he'll understand that you're not trying to hurt him, you're denying yourself something you really want." Embarrassment swelled inside Harry as he remembered Draco's wish for him to find someone he wanted.

Draco was practically frantic when a knock sounded on the door, Harry had to answer it and let a very solemn Quinn in. The brunette walked in and looked rather coldly at both Harry and Draco. "Why do I get the feeling this is like an intervention?" he quipped.

"Harry's just here to stop things getting, you know" Draco gesticulated.

"Messy."

"Yeah."

"Why are you giving me up so easily?" Quinn's eyes sharpened with hurt.

"I'm giving you the chance to walk away from this without any hurt or mess, without any damage to your relationship. You shouldn't be sneaking around like this, _you_ don't have to."

"This WORKS, Draco. Or at least it did, it worked for me just fine so why all of a sudden the disinterest? Is there someone else?"

Draco looked shocked, hurt and horrified all in one. He spluttered protest but Quinn continued.

"You think this doesn't hurt? Of course it hurts you don't fuck someone copious times and wake up next to their beautiful fucking selves just as many times, without developing feelings for them."

Harry was mortified, red-cheeked and wanting the carpet to swallow him up as the blonde turned to him, "Harry, tell him he's being mental and that he should not throw his relationship away for some cheap thrill."

"Oh yeah like a Malfoy could ever be seen as _cheap_." Quinn had finally sat down, he was deflated but defused at least. He rubbed his temples. "Draco, this _is_ messy, I'll miss you and want you just the same."

"I'm sure you two could still be friends?" Harry inputted, he had to say something, he felt like he was leaving Draco on a sinking ship.

"That will just be awkward" moped the brunette next to him.

"It doesn't have to be," Gryffindors were ever the optimist, they hoped for a solution for everything and would try their best to find one, "I could always be there with you so it's less awkward."

"Would you do that for us?" Quinn sniffed.

Draco was sat with his head on his hands, eyes dark, watching the scenario.

"Of course, any way I can help."

It took a long time for the Malfoy to convince Quinn it had to end, tears came and went and both Draco and Harry had to calm the other man down, insisting it was for the best. Eventually with a huge sigh and a downbeat attitude, Quinn gave in and left them alone once again, it would take some time alone for him to really come to terms with the break-up.

The blonde looked exhausted by the time it was all over, he walked over to the window and pressed his head against the cool glass. It felt unusual to Harry that he did not feel awkward, he didn't feel the need to fill the silence, or the need to leave. Instead he padded into the kitchen to find Draco a drink, there was a large fridge freezer that Harry opened and peered inside.

Shockingly, the young Malfoy was clearly not as much of a muggle-hating-pureblood as once was perceived, his fridge was filled with many muggle goods, mainly Irn-Bru which Draco apparently had a penchant for. The raven haired man grabbed two cans, sniffing at the diet label, he was more of a sugar fiend himself.

"Here you go," Harry handed a can over, "you really like Irn-Bru."

Draco laughed lightly, gladly accepting the can, "I do, I really do. If you tell anyone about this I _will_ hurt you."

Harry mimed pulling a zip across his lips, "any other muggle produce you're fond of?" he teased, leaning on the window and facing Malfoy.

Pale cheekbones glowed pink once again, "no, just Irn-Bru" came the muffled reply.

"You're a bad liar, Malfoy. Don't worry, I'll get it out of you." He took a sip of his drink and raised an eyebrow at the Slytherin, who turned to face him.

"You surprised me, Potter, I thought you'd be incredibly judgemental about my situation."

Harry was surprised himself, he'd settled in quite nicely to the debacle between Quinn and Draco. "The only thing I judge you for is your taste in women." He was deadly serious.

"Ugh, she is awful isn't she?" Draco cracked a deviant smile, "but I'd feel terrible if it was a decent person I was using as my cover. My human shield, if you will."

"Does anybody else know you're, yknow?" Harry asked, blushing.

"Good grief, Potter, look at your rosy cheeks, how adorable" Draco reached out and lightly ran his thumb down Harry's face as he teased him, "yes actually, do you remember Blaise Zabini?"

"Mhm I remember him," Harry's cheeks were officially on fire. _Adorable. Oh._

"He was the first boy who kissed me, I didn't tell him, he just guessed. He was teasing me one day and telling me I needed to start dating, he just kissed me and told me that it would get me started. I should thank him really, it did make me talk to men more often."

"You dated that Pansy girl though? You were dating right?" Harry quizzed.

Draco scoffed, "Oh come on she's even more vile than Fauna, and twice as ugly."

"Well neither of them are my type, really" Harry laughed

"What's your type then?" Draco prodded

"Hmm, I don't know, I like blondes" the Gryffindor pondered aloud and felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist, he looked up into the intense misty eyes of Draco

"Potter," the taller boy teased, "you should have said" he leaned in, his nose touching Harry's, molten silver eyes still staring. He let out a loud, howling laugh "Merlin, Harry, you take life so seriously, you should see your face." Draco stepped back, "don't worry I wasn't going to gay you up. Go on about your type and I will try to be more focused. I promise"

"You're a git, Malfoy. And a tease" he pushed the blonde playfully, who raised both sculpted eyebrows and laughed, shaking his head. He walked away from the window and motioned for Harry to sit on the sofa with him.

It was late when Harry left Draco and returned to Grimmauld Place, he went straight to his bed but was once again restless. He had not been scared to have Draco as close as that; it had actually given him butterflies and rather weak knees.

It was so different being held by a man, and Harry liked it a little, it felt more equal and stable than whenever he and Ginny had embraced. It also felt less pressurised, with women he felt he had to lead and take charge whereas with Draco he felt as though he could just melt into him and give himself up completely. Did this make him gay? Or just gay for Draco? One thing was for certain, Harry's embarrassment had really come from his misreading of Draco's joke, the millisecond before the other boy had laughed he was about to close his eyes and close the gap between them. He wondered what Draco would have done if he had, would he have kissed back? It was possible, obviously, but he had just broken up with Quinn. Harry wondered what those pale rose lips tasted like as he started to drift.

_Probably Irn-Bru. _

A/N: eeeek and so it begins eh? Hope y'all like it please please please review it gives me motivation to update more often! – VIKEMON.


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